So, most of us have heard the story-- a friend, or a friend of a friend, completed the Master Cleanser Diet or "Lemonade Diet," and they are raving about it so enthusiastically that you're expecting a plug for the People's Temple somewhere mid-rant. Reportedly, they consumed lemon juice-maple syrup-laxative tea cocktails for a week straight, dropped 20 pounds, and now they feel more alive then Olivia Newton John circa "Xanadu." Well kids, I'm no naturopath, but that process seems to be about as far from "natural" as you can get...o.k., o.k., they don't only consume lemon juice and laxatives, there's also a bit of cayenne pepper and water to mix things up. But I'm still not quite convinced.

Because we are living in the "age of convenience," dieting being no exception, detox solutions seem pretty ideal. For a week, you sacrifice social outings for a sickbed, you're glued to the john so much that you've calculated the exact ratio of floor-to-ceiling bathroom tiles, and your taste buds fall into a deep depression; but you gain fast weight-loss results and a healthier immune system. Some converts, like Beyonce and your friend the cultist, say that not only did they shed pounds, but completing the detox diet improved their mental health, hindered junk food cravings, and bolstered their energy. Most claim the main purpose of detoxing is to flush out accumulated toxins or "poisons" from our system. According to one detox website, we are all carrying these "poisons" if we admit to breathing, eating, using man-made objects etc. I, myself, breathe and eat pretty frequently; somehow, I'm still functioning.

Less extreme detox options include the Hallelujah Diet, the Raw Food Diet, and the UltraSimple Diet. By incorporating some healthy solids into the liquid and supplement routine, these diets don't create such a shock to your digestive system and intestinal tract. They also emphasize and implement healthier eating habits that people can stick to, whereas after many detoxers quit downing liquid concoctions, they're right back to eating the same high-fat, high-salt, high-sugar crap we all know and love.

Doctors and nutritionists are notorious for bashing detox benefits. They claim our bodies are (gasp!) naturally well-equipped to flush out bad bacteria, and point out that most supporting studies of detox diets aren't published in peer-review journals or other credible, scientific sources.

So, who should you believe? A doctor? your cultist friend? Beyonce? I'm not sure, but until I start suffering effects from those evil "poisons" inside me, I'm going to continue to breathe air, eat food, and stay fit through exercise and a healthy diet. And here I thought I wasn't a traditionalist...